I started this thought several weeks ago with a caption on my facebook:

The Bachelor is like Socially Acceptable Polygamy

Give it several weeks and an “After the Rose Ceremony” scandal later- I think we are all beginning to realize the depth of the sick and twisted show we have created. After seeing this season’s finale, we are all thinking along the same lines as Lincee,  The Bachelor’s long time Recapping blogger: “Can we get the ABC psychotherapist over here please?“

Many people have argued, “I’m sure it was all in the contracts for Jason to have to show everything on camera, and it wasn’t really his fault.” In some ways, I am sure they are right. After all, ABC is like any other corporation – they are about MAKING MONEY. They don’t care about feelings,  people, and the right things to do- at the end of the day, it’s the ratings that matter. I’d love to say that there are other corporations that look beyond those things, but in reality,  it’s the “Show me the money” mentality that really makes the world go round.

So, here is my question. At what point did we fail to recognize this image: 

is UNCANNILY similar to the show about Fundamentalist Mormons who actively practice polygamy:

See the resemblance? And while we all turn our noses up at the Fundamentalist LDS hiding away in Utah, saying that they are sick and gross…every week we faithfully tune into The Bachelor to watch women struggle for power by seeking the favor in the eyes of one man. (And by we, I mean me. It’s a car wreck, and I can’t seem to look away).

I know we aren’t supposed to get this riled up about a TV show, but I think there is so much going on here below the surface, it’s unbelievable.

First of all, I’d like to point out, that if the producers of ABC did this intentionally, they are amazing. And disgusting. Maybe the actions of this season was a ploy. Maybe ABC has decided to capitalize on the emotional that all women have in common: the ability to hate men just a little bit. I’m not saying that all men are chauvinistic pigs. What I am saying is that all women have had interactions with men being chauvinistic pigs. Rejected because “I’m sorry, I’m still in love with someone else,” or being told “I’m sorry, I just can’t do this.” (Funny, my last two relationships ended one of those two phrases.)

If someone at ABC realized this, and decided to “Creatively” move the show in a direction in an attempt to strike on those chords in The Bachelor viewing population…that is pure genius. Manipulative  and sickening. But still genious. You may think that I am taking this too far, but honestly, working in corporate America I know first HAND that what really matters is the green. And if we can push rules or break hearts to get it, we will.

Secondly, let us all agree that JASON IS A TOOL. This should come as no surprise to any of us. As so aptly put by my friend Jeff, “Whatever man can look at a room full of women and say ‘my future wife is in this room.’ is a tool.” Agreed.

Breaking up with someone on public television? I think our hearts ALL broke for Melissa a little bit. It was clear that she was genuine when she agreed to the show. She felt real emotions. And contract or no contract, it is obvious that she got the short end of the stick.
Starting a new relationship with Molly? Seriously? We couldn’t even wait a commerical break after ending your engagement to start a new relationship? Excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

But here is the part that makes me FURIOUS: YOU HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD SON. So, going on the show the first time with Deanna wasn’t enough time and disruption into your son’s life, you had to go again for a second round. Do you know what kind of mental damage you can do to a three year old, showing him that love is a game show? And Jason stands up there, talking about Ty like he is the world to him…yet he had no issues with taking 2 seasons worth of shooting time away from “his little boy.” Right. Which makes you a tool.

Third, why is it the girls that always have to be so sure?  Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems that we have got it all backward. Having roomfuls of women waiting to be with a man, fawning over his ever move doesn’t seem to motivate him to pursue. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but when a guy finds me interesting or cute, ask me on a date. Yes you should be nervous. It’s called a risk. And yes I am worth taking that risk. I hate it how in the show,  the girls to have prove that they are sooo sure, having NO doubts that he is the one! Yet, he can turn around and say “Gee Melissa, your parents didn’t want to meet me. Now I’m really having doubts that you are committed. I don’t know if I can propose to you know.”

Aren’t we supposed to have doubts? Isn’t that part of the journey? Aren’t we suppose to have doubts and take risks, trusting when its hard and letting people see your uglies? Then you hope to God that your uglies aren’t bad enough to scare them away. That’s called a R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P.  As an old date of mine used to say, “You simply need to meet someone who is willing and able to deal with your demons.” Too bad we didn’t work out…he was one smart guy.

Did it ever dawn on the women that ABC was paying for all of these romantic excursions, and maybe in real life Jason was cheap?I want to know what happens when they get back to Seattle, and Molly is going, “Where’s the limo Jason? I want to ride downtown to pick out a new dress so we can fly to Paris for dinner.” And Jason is going, “Sorry Molly, I don’t have any money. I had to quit my job to do two seasons of  The Bachelor, so…how do you like Top Ramen?”

All in all, we all know that The Bachelor is a train wreck. Usually, I just avoid it all together. If I wanted to barf once a week, I could take up bulimia. This season however, I chose to have it induced every Monday night. And even though the girls signed up for a train wreck, I really do feel for Melissa. I hope she finds love. The real kind. The “you look like shit and smell awful…but come here let me kiss you” kind.

I suppose the only thing that could redeem this season is knowing the Jillian is going to be the Bachelorette next season. She kicks ass.