Over the past few days, at various Christmas parties and get togethers, I have had lots of people asking me, “So Jenni, how are you doing?”

This is a very akward question to answer at this point. I’ve been without a job for about 6 weeks now, and I’ve about a month out of a relationship. Its Christmas, and everyday I am strategically planning my days to ensure that I avoid the big “D”.

Depression.

My mother keeps insisting that I call my doctor and ask to be put on medication. She says , “It will be easier to overcome these challenges and function efficiently if you feel better!” Which I can’t help at laugh at.

“Mom, I don’t need Prozac. I need my life to quit sucking.”

I really don’t have trouble with anger or frustration when I have an income and a busy schedule…its kinda funny how that works out. But ok mom, thanks for the suggestion.

Last week I was sent to a “Marking Seminar” on how to network and get your message out that I am looking for a job. It actually was really great, and had a lot of very useful information. Not to mention that it helps with moral to feel like you have somewhere to go when you wake up in the morning.

One of the things that the instructor had mentioned was the idea of making lemonade. We all know the famous, and mainly overused statement,

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

Here’s a little secret: making lemonade blows. No one likes to do it. In fact, I could argue that it is just plain awful. But here’s another little secret: you don’t have any other option.

Short of crawling in to your closet and ceasing to exists, you have to grab a some sugar, a knife, your lemons,  and start cutting. There may be moments where you would rather grab the knife and slice your wrists – but honestly, no one likes bloody lemonade.

So, now that we are about at the month marker of my officially being shitty, let me tell you about some of lemonade moments that I have encountered.

1) My girlfriend Roxie had a baby in the beginning of November. Taylor Evangeline is the most precious and amazing event that I have encountered in my entire life. Not having a job has meant that I have been able to have a front row seat into the miracle of childbirth, babies, and new motherhood. Its indescribable.

2) As most of you know, I’m a writer. (haha, duh). Not having a job has helped me to take a moment to seriously consider the possibility of changing careers. We all know that I wasn’t a very good admin (no kidding, I got canned!!) and now I have been exploring the idea of publishing, marketing, design layout…its amazing. I actually signed up to take a class at Saddleback College in magazine journalism starting next month. Now if I couldn’t only figure out a way to get paid to do all of this….

3) If you haven’t met my grandma, you are missing out on the world’s coolest person. She is amazing, and brave and courageous, and I have been taking her to acupuncture appointments two times a week. Which to her is THE most loving thing a person can do. She wrote me this card that said in Spanish “thank you for giving me the precious gift of your time.”…what she doesn’t know is that I’m actually getting the better end of the deal!

4) Language development. I have long since wanted to be fluent in Spanish. Hanging out with G-ma means that lately my Spanish has been kick ass.

5) Making new friends. Part of having more time means that I have been trying to meet people like crazy. Do you have friends that I can meet? Great! Cause I want to know them! I realize how easy it is to become comfortable with those who know us well, and never stop to see if there are other neat people we can know. Its been exhilarating and fresh to meet all kinds of great new people.

6) Old friends. Nothing is better than telling an old friend “I’m still just feeling really lonely.” And then having her plan a party/get together for that weekend. I really do have some of the most caring and loving people in my life, and it has been a blessing to struggle in their presence.

7) Then there are all of the little joys: finding out that I can make free business cards, going to the 5.10 outlet for new climbing shoes in the middle of the week, writing tons, searching the Internet for great Christmas Eve Dinner recipes…the list goes on forever.

In the end, making lemonade is uncomfortable. Having things go wrong is uncomfortable. Having to tell people that you feel awful is uncomfortable.  But the older I get, the more that I am learning that a big portion of life is dealing with hardship. Problems that aren’t your fault, and injustices that happen to befall on your plate. We don’t get to change or control the fact that life REALLY sucks sometimes.

The only thing we control is us; our responses to the tragedies and injustice. And for me, there are two things that I need: to maintain hope, and the ability to resist bitterness.

Which I heard somewhere that making lemonade is really simple….those are the only two ingredients that you need.