In Between.

Upside down.

Backward.

Opposite.

Beautiful. 

Painful.

 Salty tears and concrete smiles. Wide spread fingers and open eyes.

Furrowed brows and a down turned mouth.

I guess its just time. Always just time, simply time.

Busy worldwind day of papers and order and corporate suits and high toned heals. Soft hearts of missing you far away in the lonely night over text messages. Long drives with soft warm heat and tired eyes. Early mornings of not wanting to get out of bed, and yet still missing you.

How much missing you? Can it be known? And slightly frustrated because I don’t know if it is enough for you. There is no knowing the future, if we can stick it out, and I can be your girl. Not knowing if this is the place that is going to take me to the heights of my dreams, open office and corporate smiles.

Not even knowing if this is the place that will take me into next week. Permanent placement. I cannot be your girl and I cannot be an admin assistant. Planing the big man’s meetings kills my soul as much as driving down the 5 and knowing you don’t want to see me over pancakes.

But it is space.

And time.

Simply and always. Space and time.

 Space for the backward to stretch itself out. Time for the inbetween to twist itself into a snuggled fit. Slowly and methodically for the backward to become forward.

For the opposites to find themselves in the middle with lips barley bracing each other across the distance.

It does not feel beautiful.

But tonight you feel far. And the corporate office feels far to close. And that, makes it a little too painful.

Too Painful.

Too Beautiful.

We are too opposite.

This life feels too backward.

Corporate work is always too upside down.

Am I am much too inbetween.